Published May 27, 2008
Walking in a circular motion,
not quite pacing,
not quite anything at all.
Walking in a circular motion,
watching the same images pass by,
each one growing a little different every time.
Not quite pacing,
not in any certain way,
just passing time away.
Not quite anything at all,
just like a note left in the bathroom stall,
just like you've seen it all.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,919 Literary Works • 673,736 Reviews
Hey,
I like your poem. It has a good rhythm and I know what you're going for.
I got a little off when you repeated "Walking in a circular motion." in the second verse, but you might have done that on purpose.
It's very, I want to say random but it isn't exactly that, broad? I mean that it brings lots of things together that fit and don't exactly match. It's good but wording is the best thing to think about.
Nice work. ^ ^
Thanks,
Mikaela (Cally)
This was very confusing, in a really good way. It is meant to be that way, a confusing poem!
I really liked how you used the repition, making it have a wandering and confusing affect!
Nice job!
Paw
I like the idea, but the wording could use a little work (but I don't get imagery so it might just do as well to stay like it is).
Anyways I think this is very powerful... it makes me think of how much time is actually wasted... and that's a good thing because wasted time is bad. =]